Cherry on Top!

Ahh, the body image issues (writing this sambil nyemil seenak jidat gue). I'm a 5ft 1 (yes, I did converted it to feet, I'm 155cm) which makes me a short girl compared to others, but my height never really concerns me and somehow I've never felt embarrassed being a short girl,  I don't know why. and my weight is 49kg or 98 pounds, I'm not an overweight or obese according to the BMI calculator, but I'm not skinny at all, I still have fats here and there. Esp on my upper thigh, which is annoying because I have super tiny calf and my body does look a lot like reversed triangle with my broad shoulder. 

So, based on number and measurement, I'm a short chubby girl. I have never been in a really fat or super skinny condition, my body has always been a bit bigger than average, but not fat. Growing up, I'm not the most confident individual. I always feel like I'm ugly and stumpy, even though I know that's not true, but I always feel like it. Sometimes my self judgement went too far, there are those days when I don't feel like being outside my bedroom and hang out just because I'm feeling fat and not in the mood to dress up. Like most girls, I spend a lot of time criticising my own body and often become frustrated that I don't have the body that I wanted to look like. But then again I learn that if you really want it, you work for it, and the case is I don't really work for it, I don't really have motivations for working out, but diet is fine. I began to understand my own body, know what kind of clothing piece that would flatter my body type. And as long I'm still feeling healthy, then I'm fine with it.

It makes me feel happier. I know that I'm a beautiful woman in my own unique way. I know that those people who matters accept me for who I am, physically and character wise. I might work my butt off to reach those perfect shape for my wedding day later, or maybe it will start now, but for now, I am pretty happy with my body. Still not the most confident though. Biasa aja, hehehe.