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  1. The 5 Love Langugages

    Saturday, June 30, 2012


    We've all had relationships where we felt we just didn't "speak the same language" as our partners. Somehow, despite all the best intentions, our messages crossed or never seemed to land. Misunderstandings, miscommunication, and hurt feelings built up until the relationship was forced to end, not because of a lack of love, but because we and/or our partners were not feeling loved.
    Understanding the five "love languages" put forward in a series of books by Dr. Gary Chapman can help you save such a relationship, if you are in one, or avoid the pain and frustration of all those mixed messages, if you're starting a new one. Not only applicable to romantic relationships, the five love languages are also relevant to platonic relationships, whether with family, friends, or coworkers. If you can identify your own love language, as well as that of the other person, you can communicate your affection and appreciation much more effectively, leading to a happier, more fulfilling relationship for the both of you.

    The five love languages, as set forth by Dr. Chapman, are as follows:

    Words of Affirmation

    Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.

    Quality Time

    Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other, or doing something together that you love to do. You enjoy sharing things you love with others, and feel special when someone else includes you in something they are passionate about.

    Receiving Gifts

    Physical or visual symbols of affection. If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial. Some people simply respond to tangible illustrations of the love in a relationship. Different from being a "gold digger," someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price. A home-made card or tiny trinket can speak volumes, if well-chosen and suited to the recipient.

    Acts of Service

    Doing things for a loved one. If this is your dominant love language, you feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility, chipping in without being asked. Most people can relate to this love language, though in very different ways, and it is extremely important to practice this love language out of genuine feeling, rather than duty, to avoid resentment.

    Physical Touch

    Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling. Physical contact can be its own form of communication. If this is your love language, you need your partner to recognize what kinds of touch are pleasant and which are irritating, and focus on increasing the former and reducing the latter.

    Mine are physical touch, followed by words of affirmation and quality time :) what is/are yours? :)
    XOXO,
    nna

    Posted by Naomi Kristina at 12:16 AM | 0 comments |






  2. TEEN VOGUE: Emma, you've been working pretty much nonstop ever since Easy A, and Andrew, you had a breakout role in The Social Network. But a big comic-book adaptation is a whole different level. What drew you to this project?
    ANDREW GARFIELD: It took me a month to decide if I wanted to do the screen test, but ultimately it was a no-brainer. I've been a fan of Spider-Man since I was a kid, and I just knew that if I got the chance, there was no possibility of saying no. But there's always a pressure about it, of wanting to honor the thing that you care so much about. It's like a great relationship; it's like taking care of a child, or—
    EMMA STONE: You're so intense!
    AG: No, I'm not. You get it.
    ES: [Laughs] I get it.
    TV: Emma, did you feel the same way?
    ES: The idea of it was incredibly daunting. But I really liked the scenes that they sent me, and when I looked into the story of Gwen Stacy, which is epic and tragic and incredible, I loved it so much. Something was telling me that I needed to be her. And then I tested with him, and that sealed the deal. Because meeting Andrew, and working with Andrew—cover your ears, Andrew, earmuffs—
    AG: OK.
    ES: It was one of the greatest experiences I've ever had.
    AG: [Laughs] Yes! Fooled her.
    ES: Really, the way he is as an actor is just completely different from anyone I've ever worked with. I never went to school for this, so getting to be a sponge off certain people is very vital to me.



    TEEN VOGUE: And what was your first impression of her?
    ANDREW GARFIELD: It was like I woke up when she came in. She was the last person to screen-test, and I was so bored of it by then that I was mucking about—I'd been pretending I was Tom Hanks or Seth Rogen. And then she came in, and it was like diving into white-water rapids and having no desire to hang on to the side. Throughout shooting, it was wild and exciting. I couldn't help but try to stay with her, keep pace with her, and not let her get away. [Laughs] Like an animal preying on a smaller animal, but a wily smaller animal.
    EMMA STONE: [Giggling] Shhh. That is enough.
    TV: In this movie, you play high school students. What were you two actually like in high school?
    ES: Well, I was homeschooled in seventh and eighth grades, and I moved out to L.A. when I was fifteen.
    TV: So, no prom?
    ES: I did go to prom with a friend. Mostly we just sat there like, "So, this is prom."
    AG: My school in England didn't have prom. But I did go to a mixed school, girls and boys, so that was exciting. I got into quite a lot of trouble, but I was also very navel-gaze-y as well. Broody.



    TEEN VOGUE: If you'd had senior superlatives, what do you think they would have been?
    EMMA STONE: Mine might have been Loudest, or probably Class Clown. Do you agree with that?
    ANDREW GARFIELD: Yeah, I do.
    ES: So I say Class Clown, and you say Class Clown? That's what I end up with?
    AG: All right, Perfect Everything then.
    ES: Oh my god. [Both laugh]
    AG: Is that better?
    ES: That's so much better.
    TV: What's his?
    ES: [With an English accent] Biggest Brooder.
    AG: I don't know what I would have been. Class Clown/Biggest Introvert? I had an equal measure of both. What would you give me?
    ES: I would give you Best Thinker.



    TEEN VOGUE: Did either of you have high school sweethearts?
    ANDREW GARFIELD: I had an unrequited love. She actually quoted a Spice Girls song to ask me out and then dumped me after about four hours.
    EMMA STONE: That's so romantic, because I was a huge Spice Girls fan.
    AG: It took me several years to get over it.
    TV: Both of you started acting when you were pretty young. What do you think drew you to the stage?
    ES: For me, it was all childhood anxiety and panic attacks. Being able to do improv, to just make things up on the spot and be funny or sad or whatever I was feeling, and to have it be OK, was super helpful. To this day, that's why I love it so much.
    AG: I can relate to that, for sure.



    TEEN VOGUE: And Emma, you have another big movie coming out this fall, right? Gangster Squad?
    EMMA STONE: Yes, it's based on a true story about a mob boss, played by Sean Penn. I'm the girl on his arm, but then I start fooling around with one of the cops who's trying to catch him.
    TV: That's your Crazy, Stupid, Love costar Ryan Gosling?
    ES: Yes, Ryan again.
    ANDREW GARFIELD: That freaking dreamboat ... I think I'm more attracted to Ryan Gosling than any woman could ever be. [Emma laughs] I think about him so often. I'm not joking!
    ES: Here's a little insight into Andrew's psyche.
    AG: I have a proper man crush. Years ago, we did a screen test together, and he was just so inspiring. He reminded me of what I imagined Pacino and De Niro were like back in the day, that kind of truthful, visceral, lived-in acting. I was like, That's what I want to follow.
    TV: So it was pivotal then. [To Emma] And you've actually worked with him.
    ES: Right. So just, like, ditto. [Everyone laughs]



    TEEN VOGUE: Emma, I have to ask about your hair color—
    ANDREW GARFIELD: Why? Why is that important?
    EMMA STONE: I think that people—
    TV: People don't usually get to experience—
    ES: —all different hair colors, and they don't get to find out what it's like to feel like a different person.
    AG: Oh my god, this is one thing about being a girl that I will never understand. It's like hearing a different language.... Well, how do you feel?
    ES: I have liked being blonde lately because I was blonde when I was little. So whatever I'm going through is easier because I look in the mirror and I look like I did when I was a kid. But people do always ask that. They ask who is my style icon, what's the one thing that I can't leave my house without. I'm always like, "My clothes!" I can pretty much leave without anything. It's fine as long as I'm not naked.
    AG: I don't get asked that—
    ES: You get asked interesting, poignant questions because you are a boy.
    TV: It's sexism.
    ES: It is sexism.
    AG: Oh, come on.
    ES: [Points to Andrew] I get asked about relationships and stuff a hell of a lot more than this one does.
    AG: That's true.
    TV: What do you say?
    ES: I say I don't talk about my personal life!



    TEEN VOGUE: Fair enough. Last question for both of you: This movie is about a superhero. Who are your heroes?
    EMMA STONE: My mom, for so many reasons—for her bravery. For everything.
    TV: And what about you, Andrew?
    ANDREW GARFIELD: Her mom. And my mom. [Points to Emma] She's a hero of mine, because she is who she is.... And, of course, Ryan Gosling.


    PS: sorry if the interviewing conversations are pretty long

    XOXO,
    nna

    Posted by Naomi Kristina at 6:46 PM | Labels: | 0 comments |