Cherry on Top!

Well, my first love is my boyfriend, since he's my first (ever) serious relationship. I had an ex from awkward middle school phase though, it was, no joke, one of the thing I regret the most in my life -_-" oh well. How do I know that he's my first love? Since when? well, it didn't just happen. Like even in the first month, it didn't feel serious at all. But then things started to feel, hmm I don't know, a bit deeper I guess? I feel like the relationship that I'm having with him is something that's worth fighting for. Like I would do anything to try to understand him, his conditions, his circumstances, his strength and weakness and try to accept it, not because I want something in return, but because I realize that I truly care about him. It's like I might be happy living all by myself, but it wouldn't feel complete without him. I've never felt that way before because I'm a pretty ignorant lady. Although I still make mistakes (until this day) and sometimes said the wrong words, I do love him. I know that it's not just a crush. It feels like, kalo in bahasa, MENGASIHI not MENCINTAI. I don't know if it's just me, but I can feel the difference.

Sometimes people say that if we love someone, we should let them be themself and accept them for who they are, even when they have bad habits & characters, which is TRUE. But I learn from him that we do should accept our partner as who they are, but we also should make them be the best they can be, including trying to bring out the good character and get rid of the bad ones. It might not be an instant process but it's worth the try. It's not about not accepting the other's bad side, but it's about trying to make them a better person. Because that's what he do to me, I used to be such a careless girl and I was very clumsy and can't even take care of myself. I always feel insecure and ugly and I didn't believe in myself. But know, I can handle things on my own, I could pay attention to my surroundings and protect myself from harm, and I know that I'm loved :) 

My first kiss was also with him, which was kinda happen unplanned. Like seriously I didn't mean to do it (yes, I was the one who kissed him, but it was an accident!!! *self defense*). I was going to kiss his cheek when we were watching a film, it was dark, okay? I couldn't really see him. I kissed him and then he said 'Did you really just kissed my lips or what?' with a confused face (but I can see the fishy smile dude, pfft so obvious). I was really embarrased and I can't even see his face. END OF STORY. And NO I am not the kind of girl who has the guts to do first moves. NO NO NO. Pls don't judge, nonetheless, I have no regrets. It's pretty funny looking back at that moment now :)

XOXO,

nna